新视野

母親，就這樣‘永別’了？

母親，就這樣‘永別’了？

 有没有想过如何与一位你所爱，且仍然活着的人‘永远’道别﹣ 明知道你下一次见到她／他时，她／他己经不再是一位活着的人？ 最叫人难受的是我讲不出‘再见’（明知不能‘再见’），但又不能说‘母亲，“永别”了’，因为我们还没有把真相告诉她！

 我觉得我完全没有预备好！医生今早上对我们说母亲只有几个星期的活命（癌细胞己经参透了她的血液）。但我在星期四就必须得‘永远’的离开我的母亲（因为我在澳大利亚还有‘工作‘在等着我！）。

 天哪！我完全没有预备好与母亲道别！但我的理性（还有我的信仰）告诉我，安慰我，我不会永远的与母亲分别。但天啊，我的感性却告诉我另一回事，因为我到底还是个人哪！

 没有理性（我对耶稣的信仰及祂对我与我母亲的应许），我不能接受母亲的即将离别！

 没有情没有感性，我又怎么活？难道就那么的泠酷无情的与母亲道别？

 挣扎？矛盾？是的！所以我现在边写边哭，不受安慰！

 但是我即然是一个人，我就会同时拥有理性与感性。我为此感谢神。故此我不怕告诉你我在流泪，我也不怕告诉你，靠着那加给我力量的，我会坚强的在星期四与母亲道别！

 但是天啊！我根本没有预备好在星期四时与母亲道别！因为我的感性还没赶上我的理性！

 写这份文章，在某个程度上帮助我预备自已‘面对’现实！

 请问对于那许多的‘未知’点，你预备好了吗？趁那日子未到之前，好好预备吧！

PREPARED OR UNPREPARED?

 Ever thought of how one might feel bidding ‘eternal’ farewell to your love ones, knowing for sure that you won’t be able to see her/him alive again the next time around? The pain is – I can’t  utter the word ‘See you again!’ to my mother, neither can I tell her that I won’t see her again (we have not told her the truth).

 It is hard and I don’t think I am prepared for that! The doctor told us this morning that mum has only weeks to live (cancer cells already ivaded all her blood) and yet I will be leaving her ‘forever’ on this Thursday (I HAVE to leave because I have ‘works’ to do in Australia!).

 Oh man! I am not prepared for that!  But my rational mind (and my theology) keeps assuring me (and comforting me) that I will not lose mum forever. But man, my emotion tells me to act otherwise. Because I am a mere man!

 Without rational mind (my belief in Jesus and the eternal home HE has promised both my mum and me), I don’t think I can take it!

 Without emotion, how can I live?  So ‘cool’ and ‘unfeeling’ like a cold-blooded animal?

 Struggling and dilemma? You  ‘bet’  I am!  In fact I am crying uncontrollably right now as I write!

 But the fact that I am a man is because I am both a rational and emotional being, and I thank God for that! Therefore, I am not ashamed to tell you that I cry, and I am not ashamed to tell you that I can bid farewell to my mum on Thursday – with the strength I have in Jesus!

 But oh man! Am I prepared for that? No, I don’t think I am! Because my emotion is yet to catch up with my rational mind!

 Writing this article to a certain degree helps preparing me to face reality in life.

 Are you prepared for something unknown to you? Well, you better start preparing now before it is too late!

 Rev Warren VUN

Asian Head, Crossway Baptist Church

Written in Sabah, Malaysia